Guru Poornima

Going deep in Love today...self acceptance and deep love.

Self Acceptance...being with Guru the Guru within so much pain and suffering plagues the body the only way to transcend is thru total surrender and devotion
the only way our is in
Connecting with mind body should spirit the ultimate connection
i saw today my Guru connection and the body mind holding onto the way of being total current seems like a far reaching dream
absoulte dveotion to the Guru within that tad Yogi has awakened...ahhhhh
th elove and companionship is so deep to connect iwht someone at the spirit level the mind connections seems trivial the body connection seem trivial the spirit connection seems key
to be able to close your eyes and connect deeply with the one i love and know athlete he connects with me allhhhhh conneing so deeply that we can both laugh from the stomach and experience try joy we both connect so deeply that we bring each others enemy up  the stuff in the memory is so deep and so ingrained wow transcendence would take a huge commitment
shiv a is all we need when you connect so deeply you heart is so free to be you and be seen by the world there is no hiding connect with the whole world as an open vessel open vessel totally open

in the name of spiritually i have filled my head with a lot of information now transcend this in knowing being and just being and observing...aum namah Shivay

tomorrow does not come...

There is a popular superstition in some villages in India. As soon as the sun sets, the villagers fear that ghosts and demons will come to their homes. So in order to save themselves, they have a sign painted in red at the door that reads ‘Naale Baa,’ meaning ‘Come Tomorrow.’ The idea is that, on seeing the message, the ghosts and demons will know that they are supposed to visit this house the next day. But as tomorrow never comes, neither do the demons! Isn’t that wonderful?

But in your life, for all those things that are essential, you have put up a ‘Come Tomorrow’ sign, too. Whether it is about working, exercising or even practicing yoga for inner peace, the sign will still say ‘Come Tomorrow.’ This ‘tomorrow’ is a deep trick of the mind. In the morning, if your mind says, ‘I will not get up and do yoga,’ your ego will then say, ‘How can you not do it? You must do it.’ A feeling of guilt sets in, so the mind very cleverly says, ‘Let’s do it tomorrow.’ Tomorrow is always a good day, isn’t it? But when you say ‘tomorrow,’ everything is over, as tomorrow never comes.

Tomorrow is the biggest demon in your life; this is what the rural wisdom is trying to say. Most of your life and energies are spent on a tomorrow that never comes in your experience of life. Tomorrow is an idea for which we must plan, but we can never live it. Whatever you need to do and experience in your life, you can only experience it today. You never experience tomorrow; it is just your imagination, and yesterday is only your memory.

So exorcising this demon from your life is a spiritual process in that you begin to live your life, not just imagine your life. What happens tomorrow is essentially created today with the right kind of thought, emotions and actions. If you wish to do anything, whether it concerns your internal or external well-being, creating the necessary atmosphere is a must. Whether you want to run a business or lead a peaceful family life, maintain perfect health or a peaceful state of mind, unless you create the necessary atmosphere, there is no prospect of things happening well.

There were four friends who tried their hands at several businesses, but no matter what they did, their business ended up in failure. Then one of them suggested that they buy a car and start a taxi service. They somehow managed to buy an old cab and parked it at the train station, but no customers came. Then they moved to the bus stand, but still no customers. Then they drove all over the city, yet they couldn’t find a single customer. Do you know why? Simply because all four were sitting in the car!

They had the desire to run a business, and they wished for the business to be successful, too. But with the way they went about it, would they ever be successful? In the same way, whatever you want in life, if you do not understand what is needed and do exactly that, you will only end up doing some work in the end, but there is little chance of reaping any fruit.

If you want to wake up early and do yoga, you have to understand what kind of atmosphere is needed. If you eat an entire pizza at 10:00 at night and plan to do yoga at dawn, your body will say, ‘Shut up and sleep!’ But if you eat earlier and a little bit less, your body will awaken at dawn. And in the morning, if you take a cold shower, your body will say, ‘You can do yoga.’

You have to create the necessary ambience to do what is needed. If you create the resolve in your mind and the necessary settings for the body, you will be eager to do any activity you set for yourself. If you continue doing it for a few days and start reaping the benefits, then there will be no need for anyone to remind you to do it. You will do it all by yourself.

A tomorrow does not fall upon you. Tomorrow is created today. If you exorcise this demon from your life, then your life will come alive in many ways.”

Great moment of Awakening this morning

The Yoga I am doing right now is so hard and annoying that I cant help but to shake things up at times.  I actually felt so clear about things and connected.

Abundance Workshop - As i work thru my stuff i realize that all this thing about doing good in the World is not about working for Non-profits and in DC that means making no money and just kind of hanging out in the name of work.  But the thing is that its about actually serving with my strengths and talents in a way to provide service to others.  I have recently discovered that i like to work once again and in the

Sadhguru said to me that you can even be a Executive at Coke and that is still service and i was baffled and said that is not for the good of all because they are killing people at a moral level its wrong.  But its not about right or wrong its about


Found Love - The Love that I was seeking had nothing to do with someone else but it has everything to do with MEEEEE!  My body and my self is seeking deep love and the best thing anyone can do for themselves is to fall in love with Yourself!  I say this and most people cringe or the really intelligent people gloss over it as i had done most of my life.  But what you do and how you live your life has very thing to do with how you feel about yourself...YES!

The answer is in a nutshell, when i asked my Guru why did someone like him get married, he was already an enlighten being!  He said because i wanted the companionship, friendship and to share and live with someone.  This is so true i am not seeking love outside of myself but am seeking my True Life Partner who is right for me and feels special, magical because of the friendship and attraction and adoration we share for each other! We are so into each other and love to be together and come together to share our life.  I am so happy to find someone who share my interests and we connect right away and have our companionship and love for life!

Success with Soul - Success with Aparna - I have always wanted to have a show that showcases the success and successful people are so much beyond the need for Wealth and Fame.  I think that people that are truly successful and remain successful are operating from there highest intelligence and operating from the Zone.


Aparna Yogi is percolating over but my image of myself holds me to it.  Its the thought that i will always be a size 6 or that the other side of this

My Inspired Husband

I can't find enough worlds to describe my wonderful husband who i am so happy to have in my life.  i feel blessed to be with him not just to share my life with him but also because he inspires me to be the best me possible.  i am so happy to share my life with him, i am a natural at inspiring people and live to Inspire...i am very happy that I now have someone who inspires me!  I love the way he lives his life and how he lives to inspire the world just like me.  We both have money flow into our life in a very positive and abundant way...all of the time.  We love to share our teachings with the World.

But i love that he is so intend to nurturing and caring for me, as i tend to ignore that sometimes but he is always here to nurture me and tell me he loves me and cares very deeply.  I love this...i never had that before and didn't realize what i was missing.  he wants us to really enjoy our time together and share in the small things like listening to each others hearts as we lay next to each other.  be goofy! be silly and lick each other and just be in our world.  i love it!  he showed me a goofy and fun side to life i never even imagined.  we lay in bed sometime and just play with each other like kids and it feels awesome.  he has also taught me to play and be free...we just laugh and tease each other all day when we are together..its wonderful.  the beauty is that we come up with some very crazy yet unbelievable things we can do and here is the thing we do them together...wow i never even knew but it feels so good!

July 26
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I had cofee with my frined this afternoon and realized how limiting my thoughts can be.
A women friend of mine was saying how she fell in love with this guy over Facebook who seems very spiritual to her.  to me the whole thing seem so stupid and out there not because i dont believe in love but because this guy seems like a crook and she has convinced her self that he is the one.
Boy who does this sound like....me!  Here i am dreaming of my perfect guy based on what i experienced in Rishikesh without creating a beautiful reality for myself now..

I should think well enough of myself to know that i should be able to create a reality for myself that is beautfiul  -- a great guy who in the knowing and feeling of us being together feels right the perfect glove the perfect fit for me and him!  now this guy has not even responded yet.  The thing is i met a great guy and i am greatful for him showing me how love feels and with that I can build on love and can manifest my Guy.  I have always said that i would do love yoga until i am married to Mr. Rigth and then share it with the World.  All that i do is to share it with the world not just get for me.  that is the real reason why i want to be famous and that is how...so i understand.  i have a very genuine heart that cares so deeply for the population at large.  I am now who i was born to be, one with God and in service to the World.

My relationship with my husband feels so real wat time si felt so needy but the reality is that it is hard to imagine that someone loves me this much for me to rally that tit is possible for my husband to wan tot be with me just as much s i want o be with him he adores me an love our time together and makes me laugh and tells all his friends about me and he is very proud of me i feel blessed that i now have someone who i can share my dreams with ally lief i have always wanted things that are good for the world and now i have someone who is also just as committed as me to sea and being of service and is so passionate and inspiring and a very good person than you of being in my lief you we truly complete eh other nd
the only thin k i say is that we both know hat God has chosen us to be other and be with each other and i am so happy that you God helped us find each other and made us life partners together we will rule the world there is nothing we can't do and share an give and life and laugh and be happy and be goofy and silly and laugh and share than kayos much for showing em the light of knowing

Soul mate follow-up...

So i had an interesting thing happen to me -- feels like so much...

my friend Kim who has just been looking endlessly and met someone just a few month ago and is dating -- what a shocker!  I am happy for her though she has worked very hard to find this person.  i learned two things their is no set procedure because she is not very in touch and has a checklist and never really made the right changes at least by my definition.  She did a lot of shopping and presented her best self.  She did hire a coach to help her talk thru this stuff...

The vision board.

I want a guy who lives a passionate and inspiring life where he shares his inspiration with the world as that is what i want to do....

I want a guy where we are very attracted to each other

i want a guy who is supportive of the my ambition and desire to serve the whole world.

Where do i look for my Soul mate?

Where is this man who i see in my dreams?

The fourth dimension is where we have failed to look so far...

Does he really exist?
Yes and he is waiting for you, somewhere out there he is already intertwined with your unique destiny.  When the desire flames strong enough he is bound to appear, like attracts like.

Anand this letter is for you...

I want to thank you for the feeling of being in love, for me this was the first time I felt so deeply connected was last year - 2014 the year i fell in love.  I felt like we really connected and i felt like you choose me, to love and be loved by the same person had never happened to me before, so it is very special.  I wish to experience that again and i wish that for you and everyone as well.  I will always love you for this special feeling.  Thank you my love.

Sadhguru's Advise

Do simple things -- dont do important things
Dont take yourself so seriously...you are not that important
Involve yourself with the people around you...

Being Famous

So i realize that my main gola inlife is to be famous in eveyr way and i have to really appreciate the fact that i have committed my whole life to this goal.  Barbara has also done the same thing but she has been married twice and then done that.

So my feeling is that i want to embrace my Fame and be the beautiful Diva that I am but in a unique way for me.  What does that look like sharing my wisdom and my teachings with the World, the only way to do this is to actually do it i cant know everything.

I have now learned to be famous -- I am famous now as a wonderful artist, i am an artist in life, i love to be creative and make life fun for everyone.  Enjoy!

I now make a Radio Show
I now make a TV Show that I host
I now am on Oprah Show regularly
I now make my own music CD
I now make many videos and movies
I now dedicate my life to you Dear God you have given me everything and more
I now life in total joy and make people smile and laugh
I now love full and completely
I now Sing in public
I now give many speeches

The Anger Truth - July 12th

So the real truth is that i got in a fight and got angry with someone because of all this stuff of why life is the same way.

Net Net == I just want to be FAMOUS already the rest of the stuff is just to get their, the men the yoga.  i guess that is what i care about the most.

So why not become a movie star == well that is too superficial
ok so i have a beautiful face and body and everything radiates beauty == why do i want to be famous
because i'm gifted with what you ask == well i have a very pure and beautiful heart, yes i genuinely care for people == but i thought you just want people who can make me famous.  yes well the men definitely. i want men who are famous so they can help me get their -- i feel very alone.  i feel alone because that is what i want and i am very different that way.  i am not happy with just living a domesticated life.  that is why the marriage has not mattered to me deep down.

I want to be like and I want to be liked all over the world and want people to come in and listen to my wisdom.  ok so that is why i do everything even in liking him that is why i question it so much...will i become famous this way.  Because if the answer is no that i can find someone else.

so i want million of people to see me and know me and know that i have a beautiful heart..is that right aparna that tis so beautiful well and also advmie me and look unto me and ask me for advise about how to be happy and be perfect

are you prefect no and that is why i blame myself so much and do some of the thing i do i don't much care of anything i do except things that might make me famous....and that is the whole truth.  So if i am so committed to having people see me for the beauty ok so be it you look great and popped do see me.  when i teach yoga people see me for the beauty that ti am.  when i teach meditation people see me for the beauty that i can be...people also see me as self promoting.  so so so if i want the whole world to see me and be famous then i just want to find the one things that can make me famous and then do it.
what ever happened to fun, since i said i'm beautiful and smart and love attention ==>ahh this is frustrating.  i know i see this beautiful person that has always been wanted to be seen at any cost i am even willing to marry for it even if th person does not treat me well because i don't treat myself well i just go thru th emotions of life so i can meek myself famous...i'm my favorite project.  then i can tell the whole world look at me i'm great and i told you that one day i will be famous and here i am i'm famous.  so in this process of loving the whole world is there anything that i enjoy beautiful Aparna the sweet child is their anything i enjoy other than giving advise to people saying do as i say not as i do (like my Mother) it is too hard to change me but you should change.  so what else

Well the one thing is beautiful Aparna who wants to be famous has is deep and deep love for God, there is no one more beautiful in this whole wide world.  this sis my greatest love it just is, i don't ask others to join or say or do anything it is just at God you have mae this whole world so beautiful from the dirt to the clouds the water especially the water the sky with its fluffy softness that is what is unique about the beauty of Aparna.  She can see beauty in everything except the people around me or in me really == angry with myself for not already being famous.  why can't i see the beauty in me and be happy well

God's beauty lies within ==Aparna

Dear God I love you...Aparna Sain, i will always love you and i thank you for giving me so much beauty...how to share the love i have with the World especially people.  i usually don't like any people really i feel like they are all living useless lives or not living out their passion.  What is my passion?  You Dear God==you are my passion.