Trip to Dc

So here I am again, another trip to DC and the same feeling when i'm here i want to go to SF, when I'm in SF i want to go to DC now comes this urge to go to India and then Ashram to Rishikesh.

So now what here i am and as i was agrarian with my Mom today i realizes at the i am very much like her but in different situations,
she has gone to all these DR but can not seem to stick with making some radical changes to herself
now here i am the same way with work
i committed to many new things but did i really commit to making some changes if so what have i changed the thing is the life that i want to lead is a creative expression of myself.
I was so angry when my Mom decided to changes our plans, i was thinking she said
i said stop thinking and go with the flow

so here i am with the very same problem -- stop thinking and just stick with it

Decision Time

So this is grandmother Aparna

i see this girl who hs moved many times from sf to dc to sf to dc to sf to dc
four times to be exact and when i had said that i would moe last time i figured i would figure it out.  but maybe the decision does not need to be so hard an fast option e
work and make the money i need to make and then live a lie accordingly anytime you teach yoga it to the consumers it requites building an individual brand and that is really hard so whether you are her or there the problem is the same as far as pspaekignin sonsoerned i have to say well
this morning as i teach mediation and say all the suf. happening not people s ewe practice ci could see how claret all of us damage our bodies with just our thoughts teaching yoga in an environment where there are many people recovering form all kinds of additicont i could not help but think of what my Guru says depression and abuse are when our thought and trigger get the best o fuss it takes a lot of work to master th self and and the way we allow ourself to create out body and its never too late.  feeling grateful for the gif of yoga meditation.  moving with our body reveal so much.

so as i look at he bridge and then i look at eh white house well what is it so where is the bigger and fastest way to fame and the answer is thru your voice not the location being a place where i can build my domain is the most import things 

Career Journey

As i look back on my career there are only a few big things I have enjoyed so far...

1)Netsap - I loved everything about it, building community, bringing people tougher to have fun, meeting and working with awesome people and hosting some amazing events

So if I stop pranaEdge as Netsap wow i will be set...brinignign people tougher having events teaching yoga an mediation and this time would like to create an online magazine what is an online magazine well not sure right?

ON-LINE Magazine

Attract people to my Mindful Meditation Events
Express myself
Build community events

Love Love Love..Expectation

So right this moment what is the my ideal husband.

What you want and what you believe are in the same place...Expectation

well here it is i my life partner is wonderful beyond my imagination he is everything i have ever wanted an d more and more ,

he love me completely and beautiful and i feel very luck to be with a man who live me as much as he love m.  see what it is esthete when we meet it feels like he was the none

the right reopens for me feel like he feel comfortable and secure with him and also loved and just blessed.  i feel like we are tougher when we re tougher there i is a level of ease and comfort just like i feel with my family he loves me and wants me to loves me and i love him and 

he is tall, attractive, fun, dynamic loves to do things, he is ambitious, energetic, strong, passionate and lives life to the fullest, very adventurous, giving, caring, loving, spiritually connected and aware, loves life and lives it to the fullest, cherishes connection with people, ambitious, hardworking and loves to make money.

Talk about it, feel it, go with it...

Love, love, love...
Everything that we want is a feeling that we will be better off in the having of it.

So a place of deep love there a a lot of thought but the reality is that
when you connect with someone special these is a feeling of ease and just smiling and bliss that is like no tother not only does it bairn a simple to your face but it brings a mile to everyone you connect tight doesn't it?  its that love conceit that mess everyone happyso whey you xperine the love connection its with ease and easy you just go with it tan di love leo i just live dom the dreamy love where when two people re tougher they know they are into each other its just that feeing smily at each other in a different way.  is beauties fy and its that feeling of looking at each other in a eight way an dlarugh tat yeah others joeces jokes for ne reason and no one else int he room finds it funny just the tow of you and know that there is someone in this would who understands you feeling natkesd with you close on there is someone else int eh you life who total understand you and love you just the way your are
and feeling that sense of attractant hat when you are bout int he room tougher you can both feel each tother presence without saying a word and when you go out tougher its that feeling of being b]proud to be with this someone so wonderful and special to be by my iced in a easy an drealizexed manor
and then when you go home at the end of the evening know that you have this wonderful man to go home with and actually looking forward dot our evening ogherer just the tow of us and really cherishing our time together just the tow of us and even if just sitting in silence sharing hat silicon with presence and love that is beyond work s
so it just feels whole and complete and natural and realized and at the end of this night feeing grateful as you go to bed and hold each other kwnonig hat tits a gift to hold each other this way
its truly a gift to love deeply and have it returned and have him feel the same way
and know feeing like yeah od fuss are each other esponsiblyt to take care of and share decision nd thing that come us true partnership and knowing eh eh the rjsut he way we are and accepting each other know that at one of us and the other are just the way we are.. that is the feeing of deep love and he as to know that when we are at home we can even eat at home and word our works an having each of us tougher at home
fe
feelign excited to spend the weekend tougher and also feeing excited to have such a full career all at he same time feeing blessed.

Career Coach..House in suburbs

So here I am doing my exercises....

So my Mother mentioned that if there is a guy and i can see my whole life flashing beefier my eyes.  i see a life of living in my suburbs and never making it this whole thing bout making it is a big fear or me what si making it mean to me actually who has made it Oprah, i know and i know that i have some big aspirations and for that ti will do anything so when i see that i can't seem
on the one hand i want a house and want to be stable in one place wont h the other hand i feel that being in one home with a husband will just make me too comfortable and then i will never make it.  the only thing we re reading is time right so i remember this any guy who want to settle down i am so afraid of so i guess my life dream is to live alone in a box since portent or even to buy a house and liv alone so that i can be favor one day.  if that is what i want then so be it right?  don't worry be comfortable.

I don't have to ask the question too much --  Why is it that i am alone most weekend because i feel that i am trying to figure it out and then when i arrive i will get married but my question is that since i'm about to be 50 at what age do i think i will arrive and when i get there will i still want something else or will this arrival be final.  This sounds so silly i have to say coming from a spiritual person like me.  I have gotten so good at just being trapped in this way of thinking that i don't even know what to say.

I actually didn't realize - so why does this person who wants to be famous feel about other things about family about leo well this persons wants to expend elves or save herself for a man who i famous so we can be famous together otherwise eh is not interested what is she had a man who support her instead of competed with her well it sound boring.  this is the same girl when her first retreat at spirit rock when he teacher mentioned well you will feel grounded when you actually meditation and its good to be grounded was just not having any of that why do i want to feel grounded.  i have a lot to do in this life.  Lots of resistance...

You must Believe and Devote -- 

WHAT IS THE GIFT I AM RECEIVING RIGHT NOW

I LOVE LOVE
I LOVE PEOPLE
I LOVE SPIRTUALITY




What is the Gift I am receiving right now?
I love to work and the things i love to work on are events plannign events i am very good at it and love it!
i love to bring people toughener i live to be creative and pull everyone in the room i love to have discussion and facilitate i love to and present and inspire people to do more i miss networkignand speaking o people and how they are doing and how they like to be and how i can help them be more than they are today.  i love love love to work with people i also like to show the meditation and kris breathing and feel an immense calm as a result of it.

people alsywas ask me how have i changed?  well i have become so calm and grounded that nothing phases me.  i remember early on i when i went to a meditation retreat in spirit rock the lady said its good to put be as close th the ground as possible so you can feel grounded.  i responded why would i want to be ground i ha ea lot to do and a lot alf ambition etc.  i loe to also connect people at is why li love to do events.  i am so happy to be in front of a computer and typing it seems i have a lot lot to say.  wow where to begin i feel that in myself fi have changed so much.  i used to be so focused on all the stuff on the outside that this much inward focusing is just not for me anymore but it feels amazing.  i can't seem to get enough of closing my eyes i just simply want to sit that is the best work i do all day.  i am hoping to go the the isha ashram and study so i can have my eyes closed at all of the times and just sturdy yoga i love this stuff so much because its not just about doing the asana but aligning my body to the chasms its amazing when we start to speak to the cosmos with our body these is so much to share and so much beast in all of it.  people ask me if i;m eligntend i say that is a big word and i try not to use being words these days i am self realized and now this self realized being is trying to find a way to exit in the real world so what does that mean well in the real world i need to amen money have a husband have a mhomre have food nice closes all the hinds i'm vibe blessed to have in life but what do i need to do to have this things that is the explorations and i goes i can say that well what is it i enjoy about these things
hum....loe and realtionship, well after several years of mostly wanting to explore myself fas i come out int to he work di notice people are people of all kinds are very nice and beautiful in our won ways.  i hike with people in there seventies i dane with people who are young and all beings are trying o t figure its out as to what mess us happy doing the rift thing
But there is no right thing don't know but i relish all kinds of relationships i also now want to manifest my lief partner and love i have always lived for this stuff so drescirpign it should be easy but i guess the best way to describe ti who i feel.  i feel complete when i am with him and he is amazing in every way is is my protector my rock bu t he is also very successful and my inspirations i mohave alway solved successful men and now i feel that i have all of that i started with i want a rich successful attractive smart guy who love me immensely and now i want all of that and want to feel complete an whole when i'm with him i want to feel ike we are a great team and work to work together and inspire each other we are very different than other couples we love to be with each other but we love to e with people just as much we love to get out there and help people. and teach and create retreats ant rips and adventures together.  i love to have him in my life he is amazing he is so supportive and aloes to work and create and is always out inspiring people and doing lots of things that keeps me inspired and we inspire each other.  its great.  awesome in fact.

WORK
So i love to work and i love to work with people i love to hal people be better in some way i leo to network connect whopper what sides get people inspired i love to lead wool i love to help people become better entrepreneur si love to inspire people to do more and i love to speak in large audiences and i love to be the inspiration in people life that can help them be and do more ai also love to get paid and make lot so money for my its and feel successful i feel that my special gifts should allow me to make lots of money i have at my core belief that the spiritual process is a gift and now a deterrent the top five percent of apple make most money are also very spiritual it just goieshand and and hat tis what i want to create all the sites my guru is ju is the best example and if people added hisnetw work th it would blow them away but no one can seem to do that and t does much member because he is making money making people feel good.  if we can make people feel good and inspire change isn pele we should tell really good about ourselves and slap.  so what are the things people should say about me, well she is a great teacher of yoga and inspires me to do more but she also inspires me to be the best and supports my got within.  what about working with profession women and to talk about thesauri love life
The answers lie deep within its not about buying this book or that book although i am blessed to have read so many of them over the last 5 years simply reading and reading now is the time to unleash.  i live to inspire change in others and create a better world.  so to do that and actualize form a money perspective i have to say well

So here I am writing after meditation May 18, 2017
i feel that there is so much that comes up in my meditation and the things that scares me is always here, yoga teaching yoga is my calling an di have to just face it that way instead of trying all these corporate things i do love the corporate world and working with people here but not sure why but even in the past the yoga has some up so maybe its just matter of feeling it out what to do next not sure i wish the ashram would lie time know one way o rahotern actually so ic an move forward and pack i just want to teach he yoga and offer it ain ways that all this integration do but who am i offering this tuff to and where do i go to teach.  

May 2017 - New Month, New Beginings

This month I have decided to keep a Spiritual Log, the Theme - Accept, Myself just as I am.

Spiritual Log

May 6th - Sufi Workshop
Opening up of the Heart Space

May 7th

• Meditation 6-8:30am + Kriya 8:30 - 9:00am + Meditation
• Openness just takes time to get things clear, 
• I now serve as an Advisor and make $15,000 - $20,000 per month in DC; provide lots of value, autonomy, flexibility, resources, network easily.
• I am now ACCEPT and ATTEND Isha Hatha Yoga Teacher Training - July 2017

May 11th - Budha Purnima

• Shower 5:15, Guru Puja
• Surya kriya + Yoga + sitting
• Estatic Dance

This is the first day of my Sadhana

Can't is another way of saying - I am choosing not to

If you say you are something you should be doing it, but I don't know how is just another excuse

Love, Love, Love

I had a deep conversation with the little gily who says to me i just want to love and be loved and i am now willing to fake it so what that means is that I want to be with someone wonderful who wants to be with me.  we are free to be each other and love an trust each other just the way we are

missing someone

I learned today that its ok to feel a special feeling for somethonethatmakes me miss himandthedeep feeling we hare i feel very complete when i am with him and i feel ike a women and i feel like i am with the one who is my partner in life 

Ideal Scene

My dream is simple i am now the quenn of Mindful televison creating programing for the professional audienc ein a way that imspires moer inward focus of people and inspires millions of people ot turn inward towards there ture natuer of joy and abundance to life a fullffilnd life full of abundance in evyr eay money, love rebeautiful realitonships and most of all purpose.  if we dont have pruopseo in our life we waste our life and fgive intor the exeranl distraciont ss that keep us form dialing inot who we really are.  my goal in life is to inspire athe inward journey in awahy that reflects the teaching from my eastern roots and brings a simel and joy to peoplse faces and greates a inner transformationl that insires thatem to go beyond what they imagnized an dmediate and and really take the time to get to though temselfves 

why insward well if you dont know this one the very corea of who we are it seems once we setout on this path of the inward journey even this live time seems short.  ithere is som uch beauty in the way life unflidl that wwe just have to step back and allow it to unfold 

The concept that come to mind is surender at eveyr step i feel ike i have surrendered to what is in front of me surenter to wanting an accepting but ture surrend is allwong alowith that we is for my highest good to unfuld that is surrender?

as i surender to the abundance of what is aparna i want to find greater and great expressions fo fmyself that the way i can connect with others and reach others in an inspireing way and really atrtract the righ tpopel who value from my teaching who are intersetd in my sharing so are attracteed to my shirng to help me serve from this place of being me with my voice my body my hears and my sould such that it offers relief and freedonm to both of us a deep sense of freedom that can only ebe experince when two souls connect.